Please keep this is mind when you meet new people at school. Everyone you meet has a story. Be kind.
Make sure to create “Me Time,” a time when you sit by yourself and think about what is going on in life. Too often we look towards other for advice and we look towards others for acceptance. Why? What advice would you give yourself? Take time to think about the changes that happen at college, the things that you have going on, and the things that you’ve done (good and bad). Are you satisfied with what is going on? Can you set goals for yourself? Most importantly, remember to breath and trust that everything will be just fine… cause ya know what? It will be.
By a show of hands, how many of you are kind of nervous about making new friends? If you’re sitting at your computer with your hand in the air… wave it around…. put the other hand up…. okay now put them down, you look ridiculous. The thought of going to college and not knowing anybody and then having to make new friends it extremely frightening. Will people like me? Will I like the people at my college? Will they ever be as good as my high school friends? Theses are all natural concerns but let me say this… take a deep breath, you will make friends, you will have fun, people will like you. Here are things to think about as well as a couple pieces of advice on how to make friends.
1. Everyone is in the same boat as you – yes, some people will know friends who go to the same school but for the most part everyone has arrived to college alone and everyone wants to make friends and everyone is probably a little nervous to make friends.
2. Everyone will be nice…for the first few weeks – you will be surprised at how quickly you make friends because everyone you meet, for the most part will be super nice because they, like you, are trying to create a group of friends. With that said, be cautious of how quickly you ‘latch’ onto new friends because soon enough people’s true selves will shine through and ‘Miss Suzie Smile’s’ will soon become ‘Miss Suzie I Care More About Boys And Drinking Than Being Your Friend’
3. Don’t spill your soul – when people, especially us girls, are making new friends we tend to spill the beans about our whole life. Usually people hang out together outside or around in a dorm room and talk to get to know each other. I remember girls who started to cry and talk about family problems, old boyfriends, personal information… it was bizarre. It’s important not to spill the beans right away because a) you can’t trust these peeps yet to keep there mouth shut (they don’t even know you so they don’t owe you the code of silence) b) you have a clean slate do you really want to be bringing up your past? This is a time of your life to create new memories! Keep moving forward!
4. You will have different friends the end of your freshman year than you did the beginning of your freshman year. This happens so often. Sometimes it will just be a couple new friends other times, you entire group of friends will change. Again, another reason not to spill your guts to your new friends the first weekend of college because heck, they might not be around at the end of your freshman year and do you really want them knowing your secrets?
5. Keep your options open – don’t just look for the people who remind you of your friends from high school. There may be other ‘types’ of people who will actually be better friends for you than your high school friends, outrageous right? It’s true though so keep your options open and be nice to everyone.
6. Join clubs – if you join a club that interests you, you are going to meet other students who have similar interests. It’s an easy way to make friends.
7. Fun thought – you will make friends of all ages. One of the coolest things about college is that when you stand in the middle of your campus and look around, you won’t be able to tell who’s a freshman/sophomore/junior/senior and we all know you can pick them out in high school now.
8. Talk to people – common sense right? It may take you our of your comfort zone but simply open your little scared freshman mouth and say hello to people. When’s the last time someone said hello to you or was nice to you and you thought ‘omg that person was so nice and said hello, what a b*tch’…. uhhh, never!
9. Go to parties – yes, these can be scary at first. There will be drunk people, possibly random clouds of smoke, loud people, loud music, and random people hooking up. Take it all in with your eyes before you jump into the scene. Parties are a great social event and a quick way to meet people, a little liquid courage can also help to meet new people (be safe! we’ll talk about the party scene soon)
10. Get a job – you will be surprised at how much free time you have at college. Look for a part time job on camps. It will be a great way to make a little extra spending cash, keep you busy, and make new friends.
I think I’ve said this before but my best friend in the entire world, the girl I can’t image living without, and the person who will be in my wedding party (when that day comes), I met in college.
Cheers to making new friends!
P.S. if you don’t make friends, let me know i’ll come to your college and make it happen
COLLEGE PHOTO: My best friend and I on a winter ski trip.
Hello Hello! I have gotten a number of e-mails requesting different college topics to be discussed and it has opened a whole can of worms, I can’t wait to start typing. First off, to the gentleman that asked if I would marry you…. let me think about it…. thinking….. thinking….. sorry, but no. Second, it’s Saturday and while I would love to sit inside and type away about college stuff (seriously, we all know I love college) it is too nice outside and my bro is getting married a week from today so there are a lot of duties I need to take care of. BUT! I wanted to let you all know what’s to come in the following posts because I am so excited…..
1. Packing for school – I know, not so juicy but it’s a must considering the packing should start soon and there is no way you can pack your entire life into your college dorm and no reason that you need to buy everything is the ‘going away to college’ section at the store.
2. Making friends at college – have you asked yourself, ‘will I make friends at school?’ ‘how do I make friends?’ ‘what will my new friends be like?’… I’m sure you have… no worries! College friend making champion is at your service.
3. Getting into a relationship at college – Wowza! This is a good topic, boyfriends/girlfriends…. love, sex, drama, the good, the bad, unfortunately sometimes the harmful… lots to talk about here.
4. Greek life – should you do it? what’s it like? pro’s and con’s… does hazing actually go on?? you’d be surprised…
5. College parties – will I get invited to parties? do they happen often? is it like the movies? Let me just say this…. when I was in high school I imagined college parties to be crazy…. when I got to college it was more than I ever imagined…. this topic is definitely the good stuff
Difference #2 – Roommates
Many high school students have their own room. You don’t have to share space with somebody else, you don’t have to worry about sharing clothes with anyone else, and you don’t have to worry about hiding your stuff so that nobody ruins it or steals it. If you do share a room with somebody it is usually a sibling and not a total stranger or you are coming from boarding school and lucky for you, this new transition won’t be such a shocker.
Of course everyone hears the roommate horror stories – you’re complete opposites, your roommate loves to be naked, they’re a complete mess, they are up every night until 4am, they come home drunk every night, they don’t shower (yes this happens), they steal your stuff…. and the list goes on… so with this concern high school students always like to ask if there are single rooms for freshman. WHY??? Why in the world would you want to come to college, knowing nobody and sit in a room by yourself? Trust me – you don’t want a single your freshman year. The first few weeks can be lonely at college and a roommate is an easy (and forced upon) friend to keep you company and help you adjust to college because guess what, they’re adjusting too. Right away you have somebody to hang out with, eat meals with, go to the gym with, and hang out and watch TV with.
Of course this will all be an adjust, different from sharing a room with your stuffed animal. Here are some things to keep in mind and a few pieces of advice for your new roommate experience:
1. Contact your roommate prior to move-in. Once you get your roommates information reach out to him/her through facebook or send an e-mail. Introduce yourself, you don’t need to share your secrets or becomes BFF’s right away, this isn’t online dating, just an introduction. Talk about what you will be bringing (TV, futon, couch, microwave, etc.)
2. Be nice and talk. This may seem obvious but this is probably a new experience for both of you and it is much easier to keep your mouth shut then it is to start a conversation (a real one, not just texting) and talk to each other about the roommate experience.
3. Don’t bring valuable items. People steal. It happens more times than you think. Don’t bring anything to college that is valuable and if you do, don’t flash is around for the world to see. “Oh cool, you have a designer necklace (you must be rich) that you let hang from your desk lamp, well….when there are 10 people in your room i’ll just snag that cause you’ll have no idea it was me” Hide your shit! Trust me, things will go missing.
4. Things that you think may bother you, actually don’t. Keep an open mind when you move in to your dorm and meet your roommate. You might think a messy roommate would drive you crazy but when you actually move in they may not bother you. You might think, based on their facebook pictures, that you are going to hate them but when you meet them they may open you mind to a new way of thinking or new activities that you never knew about.
5. You’re not livin’ in the penthouse at the Ritz-Carlton, you’re livin’ in a college dorm. Compromise! Too often people think they deserve the best living environment. If their roommate does something they don’t like, automatically it becomes an issue and neeeeeds to be fixed. No! Having to adjust to a weird environment and learning how to live with people’s differences is part of college. It’s not going to be perfect. You will get aggravated, you will blow up and yell at each other, it may get physical, you may even throw something across the room, you will call you parents crying… it happens to everyone, at every college. Get ready!
Oh boy, love the roommate topic. I will definitely be revisiting it in the future… so much to talk about!
Do you know that college is different than high school? No kidding, right? In fact, it is very different. Over the next few weeks I will be entertaining you with posts about those differences. Obviously I’m a bit bias but college is seriously better than high school. Get excited!!! and then come back and visit for your inside (ice cream) scoop (i love ice cream) to learn whatcha gettin’ yourself into.
~it’s a good day~
I was walking around campus today looking at all the new freshman at orientation and it brought a lot to mind. Everyone is making friends now. You will meet people when you first arrive at college who you will makes friends with right away. This may be strange to think about but for the most part, a lot of the people you makes friends with in the beginning of your freshman year don’t typically stay your friends throughout the year. You’ll meet other people, switch your group of friends and eventually find a group of friends that you like hanging out with the most. It’s a normal thing that happens and that’s fine but here’s the thing… if you walk on campus and you see someone you met at one point (possibly from orientation) or even hung out with at one point but you currently don’t hang out with please still say “hello!” When has anyone smiled and said hello to you and you thought ‘omg that’s so weird, they’re so mean’ ? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say…never. Don’t burn bridges, if you recognize someone and they clearly knew you at some point at least smile. Smiling brings happiness to people and happy people are just better, duh! And think about it… it’s more awkward to see someone you kind of knew and weirdly avoid them than it is to just walk by and say ‘hi.’ On the other hand, if you don’t hang out with the person anymore because they slept with your boyfriend and stole your bottle of pinot grigio then by all means slap-a-bitch….kidding!!
Tear, tear – senior year is coming to an end and so are your lifelong friendships with your high school friends.
Thinking back to the ‘goodbye’s’ I had with my friends from home makes me giggle. I remember thinking it was the end of the world. My high school life was officially over. I would never see my friends again. I would never have friends like the one’s I had. Wow, I was so wrong! The friendships that you have in high school are genuine. You have history with all of them and that never goes away. When I was in college I could go months without talking to certain friends, I obviously kept in touch with my closest girlfriends. I remember going home on long weekends or for holidays and feeling a little nervous to see my old friends. I didn’t know what it would be like. Sure enough, we picked up exactly from where we left off. We had exciting stories to share about college and reminicing about high school always made for a great night. Your friends from home are like family. You never really lose that bond. Even now, I have friends from high school that I haven’t talked to in years yet I know that if I went back home and met up with them we would pick up from exactly where we left off.
An even crazier thought…. some of the best friends I have (couldn’t imagine living without them) I made while I was in college.