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You’ve moved in, said your goodbyes (lots of tears? it’s okay!) and it’s your first night alone at college. What do you do? Many of you may sit in bed with your laptop and click through facebook, you’ll probably text your friends or talk to your parents. Hopefully your roommate has moved in too so that you have someone to talk to. What are you feeling? Scared, alone, unfamiliar, sad, awkward? I promise you the nights get better! If you’re in bed and thinking, ‘omg i can’t do this, this is so uncomfortable i just want to be home’ my response to you (in the nicest way) is stop complaining, suck it up, you’re a grown up now and you CAN do this! Don’t let loneliness defeat you, you need to give yourself time before you make any drastic moves and pack up and go home. Some of you may actually be bored. No worries, once school starts you will have enough work to keep you busy. Once everyone moves in you will have plenty of people to meet and hang out with. In fact, enjoy the first few awkward nights when the dorms are quiet and nobody knows what to do because soon you’ll have nights where you are itching for a quiet night. Like I said… you CAN do this! There are thousands of freshman who are feeling the same way as you so stop reading this post, close your laptop and go meet other freshman. Finally, if you are really lonely and you’re still having a hard time connecting to your environment, go buy a fish. Strange? NO! Having a fish will give you something to take care of and look forward to seeing when you come back to your room. Name it Gabby!
Talk to you soon,
Well, this one is a little more of a challenge for me given I didn’t have any serious high school relationships or a boyfriend that I had to say goodbye to when I went off to college. However, at the end of the day a relationship is a relationship and emotions run wild, especially when it’s time to leave the one you love. I’m sure many of you have serious boyfriends and girlfriends and are soon heading off to college. Have you talked to each other about what you are going to do? If not, you should. Here are some things that you need to think about first. Then, if you and your significant other decide you want to give a shot and try and stay together you can continue to read down the post and see the few pieces of advice I have for you in trying to keep a long distance relationship work. By the way, most people believe they have found their true love and the only option is to stay together even though we both know you’re secretly thinking, “will this even work?”
So first off – here are the things to think about.
1. Just break up with them – the stress of keeping a relationship on top of the change of heading to college is just too much and if it’s meant to be, it will be no matter what even if it’s years later.
2. The break up bench – usually all schools have them. On the weekend, there is always a girl on the break up bench, crying hysterically on her cell phone while the relationship ends.
3. College is full of raging hormones – this is prime time to meet as many people as you can, learn what type of person is the best fit for you and to have fun (remember to be safe!)
4. Often times to relationship you had changes – you go from a fun, high school, see-each-other-all-the-time relationship to a long distance relationship and checking with your bf/gf throughout the day becomes a major annoyance.
5. You will change – college changes people, you learn who you really are and many times the person you become isn’t the best fit for your high school sweetheart and guess what… that’s okay!
6. Insecurities will absolutely fly in – when he/she doesn’t answer their phone Friday night, you will start thinking about who they’re with and what they’re doing.
7. Just break up with them – did I say that already?
Okay, so maybe i’m being a bit harsh so let me transition to the advice for those of you who honestly believe you’ve found the love of your life and are willing to do anything to stay together in college.
1. Communication – holy cow, communication! This is the most important thing in all relationships. Talk now about your expectations. When you go to college be completely honest with each other. If you’ve met somebody the first week and they sweep you off your feet, tell you bf/gf that it’s just not going to work – never, never, never cheat on them!
2. Trust each other – if you don’t trust each other completely, it will never work.
3. Visit – you need to understand that keeping this relationship is going to take work, if you go into college thinking, ‘well, let’s just see what happens’ it probably won’t work. You need to put the effort in to visit each other, take time away from your friends to have a phone conversation of skype time.
4. Make is fun – like any long distance relationship you need to keep in fresh and fun. Send hand written letters or cards, send care packages, surprise each other, get to know their roommate so you can make surprise visits or ask politely ask for a night alone in the room.
5. Keep yourself busy – this is SO important. You can’t make your entire day about your bf/gf. If you don’t talk to them for a few hours, they will still love you at the end of the day and if they don’t or if they get mad because you didn’t text when you were walking from one class to the next, it’s time to dump their butt. You need to enjoy college for yourself and if he/she is the one, they will fit in no matter what.
6. Finally, stay positive. If if works, congratulations and if it doesn’t work, I promise it’s not the end of the world you will meet the love of your life when the time is right.
Hope you enjoyed Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom!