Major Issues

This is a continuation to my Man Up post.  I mentioned that if you’re having major issues in college, the ones that you typically hear statistics about like binge drinking, drug use, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, STD’s etc you need to address them.  I know many of you probably think, “I’m not the ‘type of person’ to have these problems so even though it may seeeeem like i’m being affected by one of these issues, i’m definitely not. ” The thing is…. there is no ‘type of person’ who gets affected by these things.  In fact, everyone has issues.  It can crawl up on you without you even knowing it.  Trust me on this one… seriously…. trust me.

Get help | Talk to someone

{GMS}

Dating

Now is the time to date!  When will you ever been in an environment where you are surrounded by thousands of guys and girls who are all around the same age as you.  I know it’s hard to actually date in college and yes I am talking about old fashion, just you and him or you and her sitting together, without cell phones, and talking to each other, getting to know each other.  Now is the time!  Don’t feel like every conversation with a guy or girl has to turn into a relationship.  The truth is… it won’t BUT it may or at the least it will get you closer to learning what type of person you want to be with.  There are LOTS of fish in the sea you’re in right now.  (Some sharks, some clams, some yucky seeweed too so be careful).

 

Falling In Love at College

You are meeting all kinds of people are school now.  Has someone swept you off your feet?  Is there a girl or guy that you can’t keep your eyes off of?  Have you told yourself to ‘snap out of it’ because ‘this is college, the time to explore, not the time to get caught up in relationships’??  Love happens at times that we don’t always plan for.  Don’t be afraid to fall in love.  Let it happen.  When it happens, don’t fight it.  Enjoy it, celebrate it, make it work, but don’t let it define you or your college experience.  Many people meet their spouse during their college years.  Do not look for it but if you’re lucky enough to have it fall in your lap… let love happen.

{GMS}

The Good College ‘Stuff’

Hello Hello!  I have gotten a number of e-mails requesting different college topics to be discussed and it has opened a whole can of worms, I can’t wait to start typing.  First off, to the gentleman that asked if I would marry you…. let me think about it…. thinking….. thinking….. sorry, but no.  Second, it’s Saturday and while I would love to sit inside and type away about college stuff (seriously, we all know I love college) it is too nice outside and my bro is getting married a week from today so there are a lot of duties I need to take care of.  BUT!  I wanted to let you all know what’s to come in the following posts because I am so excited…..

1. Packing for school – I know, not so juicy but it’s a must considering the packing should start soon and there is no way you can pack your entire life into your college dorm and no reason that you need to buy everything is the ‘going away to college’ section at the store.

2. Making friends at college – have you asked yourself, ‘will I make friends at school?’  ‘how do I make friends?’ ‘what will my new friends be like?’… I’m sure you have… no worries!  College friend making champion is at your service.

3. Getting into a relationship at college – Wowza!  This is a good topic, boyfriends/girlfriends…. love, sex, drama, the good, the bad, unfortunately sometimes the harmful… lots to talk about here.

4. Greek life – should you do it? what’s it like? pro’s and con’s… does hazing actually go on??  you’d be surprised…

5. College parties – will I get invited to parties?  do they happen often?  is it like the movies?  Let me just say this…. when I was in high school I imagined college parties to be crazy…. when I got to college it was more than I ever imagined…. this topic is definitely the good stuff

Cheers!

{G}

 

High School Relationships

Well, this one is a little more of a challenge for me given I didn’t have any serious high school relationships or a boyfriend that I had to say goodbye to when I went off to college.  However, at the end of the day a relationship is a relationship and emotions run wild, especially when it’s time to leave the one you love.  I’m sure many of you have serious boyfriends and girlfriends and are soon heading off to college.  Have you talked to each other about what you are going to do?  If not, you should.  Here are some things that you need to think about first.  Then, if you and your significant other decide you want to give a shot and try and stay together you can continue to read down the post and see the few pieces of advice I have for you in trying to keep a long distance relationship work.  By the way, most people believe they have found their true love and the only option is to stay together even though we both know you’re secretly thinking, “will this even work?”

So first off – here are the things to think about.

1. Just break up with them – the stress of keeping a relationship on top of the change of heading to college is just too much and if it’s meant to be, it will be no matter what even if it’s years later.

2. The break up bench – usually all schools have them.  On the weekend, there is always a girl on the break up bench, crying hysterically on her cell phone while the relationship ends.

3. College is full of raging hormones – this is prime time to meet as many people as you can, learn what type of person is the best fit for you and to have fun (remember to be safe!)

4. Often times to relationship you had changes – you go from a fun, high school, see-each-other-all-the-time relationship to a long distance relationship and checking with your bf/gf throughout the day becomes a major annoyance.

5. You will change – college changes people, you learn who you really are and many times the person you become isn’t the best fit for your high school sweetheart and guess what… that’s okay!

6. Insecurities will absolutely fly in – when he/she doesn’t answer their phone Friday night, you will start thinking about who they’re with and what they’re doing.

7. Just break up with them – did I say that already?  

Okay, so maybe i’m being a bit harsh so let me transition to the advice for those of you who honestly believe you’ve found the love of your life and are willing to do anything to stay together in college.

1. Communication – holy cow, communication!  This is the most important thing in all relationships.  Talk now about your expectations.  When you go to college be completely honest with each other.  If you’ve met somebody the first week and they sweep you off your feet, tell you bf/gf that it’s just not going to work – never, never, never cheat on them!

2. Trust each other – if you don’t trust each other completely, it will never work.

3. Visit – you need to understand that keeping this relationship is going to take work, if you go into college thinking, ‘well, let’s just see what happens’ it probably won’t work.  You need to put the effort in to visit each other, take time away from your friends to have a phone conversation of skype time.

4. Make is fun – like any long distance relationship you need to keep in fresh and fun.  Send hand written letters or cards, send care packages, surprise each other, get to know their roommate so you can make surprise visits or ask politely ask for a night alone in the room.

5. Keep yourself busy – this is SO important.  You can’t make your entire day about your bf/gf.  If you don’t talk to them for a few hours, they will still love you at the end of the day and if they don’t or if they get mad because you didn’t text when you were walking from one class to the next, it’s time to dump their butt.  You need to enjoy college for yourself and if he/she is the one, they will fit in no matter what.

6. Finally, stay positive.  If if works, congratulations and if it doesn’t work, I promise it’s not the end of the world you will meet the love of your life when the time is right.

Hope you enjoyed Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom!

Much love,

G